In spite of all my years in this world, I am still occasionally surprised by the sinister nature of the human heart. Right now, I'm surprised by how people attempt to justify divorce, and even try to put a "godly" spin on things.
I have a friend who, several years ago, started doing some soul-searching and began looking for the Lord. In the process of entering into fellowship with believers and studying the Bible with them, he somehow came to a bizarre conclusion: he had never loved his wife. Even more bizarre is the fact that he went and told her this after he was converted, adding that he didn't think he would ever love. Needless to say, this declaration tore through their lives like a Kansas tornado. He never recanted his statement, and eventually she (I believe) filed for divorce. He was sorrowful about the whole thing, but never remorseful. A couple of years later, some mutual friends of ours made claims to the effect that, even though the Lord hates divorce, the situation wasn't good, and He had to provide a way out of the situation (the solution being to divorce).
...
The other day, in the process of contending with her spiritual advice (frequently unsolicited) in the past, my stepmother declared that she firmly believed that my dad's marriage to my mom (which ended in divorce) was not God's perfect will for him, and that she (my stepmom) was. Basically, instead of crediting the grace of God in bringing them together after the marriage, she attempted to say that, somehow, the Lord allowed the right thing to happen in the end. The conclusions of her statement also imply that my older brother and I are mistakes here in this world, and that whatever she has done for us has been out of her copious grace and self-sacrificing nature (heavy sarcasm intended).
In both cases, people nullified the power of the Word of God in their lives. They chose to exalt themselves instead of admitting their sinful nature and asking for God's power to overcome it. In the case of my friend, I believe that the Christ-like thing to do would have been to stay in the marriage and learn to love his ex-wife as Christ loves the church. In doing so, he may have won her to Christ in the end. But this is not what happened.
In the case of my stepmom, I believe the Christ-like thing would be to see that they, too, are part of a forever broken family that has at it's center my dad. They should have a pretty acute understanding of how destructive divorce is, and that they are merely survivors of it. And they should do everything in their power to counsel anyone against it and help see them through rough spots in marriage in the future. But this is not what happened.
Before I continue on to my final example, I feel I should state that, though the people mentioned above attend church regularly, the churches aren't Churches of Christ. That shouldn't matter, however. They claim to believe in the authority of the Word of God in the Bible, and that should be enough.
That being said, my final example is one of a preacher I know. He has said on more than one occasion that he knows that God hates divorce - it's in the Bible for all to see. Yet, he has also stated on more than one occasion that he believes that, while divorce is viewed as such by God, it's "sometimes necessary." He wasn't talking about cases of adultery or an unbelieving spouse sending away the believing spouse, either. He has counseled people in his congregation to divorce over matters such as "mental anguish" and other irreconcilable differences.
This is just a snapshot of cases in my microverse. I can only imagine other examples there are out there of such things.
In the end, I have but one question: when my children are grown, who (other than my wife and I) will be there to defend the sanctity of marriage to them? If they hear the clamor of people justifying divorce in such ways, will they even hear the gentle voice of the Lord telling them to stick with it...forever?
I have a friend who, several years ago, started doing some soul-searching and began looking for the Lord. In the process of entering into fellowship with believers and studying the Bible with them, he somehow came to a bizarre conclusion: he had never loved his wife. Even more bizarre is the fact that he went and told her this after he was converted, adding that he didn't think he would ever love. Needless to say, this declaration tore through their lives like a Kansas tornado. He never recanted his statement, and eventually she (I believe) filed for divorce. He was sorrowful about the whole thing, but never remorseful. A couple of years later, some mutual friends of ours made claims to the effect that, even though the Lord hates divorce, the situation wasn't good, and He had to provide a way out of the situation (the solution being to divorce).
...
The other day, in the process of contending with her spiritual advice (frequently unsolicited) in the past, my stepmother declared that she firmly believed that my dad's marriage to my mom (which ended in divorce) was not God's perfect will for him, and that she (my stepmom) was. Basically, instead of crediting the grace of God in bringing them together after the marriage, she attempted to say that, somehow, the Lord allowed the right thing to happen in the end. The conclusions of her statement also imply that my older brother and I are mistakes here in this world, and that whatever she has done for us has been out of her copious grace and self-sacrificing nature (heavy sarcasm intended).
In both cases, people nullified the power of the Word of God in their lives. They chose to exalt themselves instead of admitting their sinful nature and asking for God's power to overcome it. In the case of my friend, I believe that the Christ-like thing to do would have been to stay in the marriage and learn to love his ex-wife as Christ loves the church. In doing so, he may have won her to Christ in the end. But this is not what happened.
In the case of my stepmom, I believe the Christ-like thing would be to see that they, too, are part of a forever broken family that has at it's center my dad. They should have a pretty acute understanding of how destructive divorce is, and that they are merely survivors of it. And they should do everything in their power to counsel anyone against it and help see them through rough spots in marriage in the future. But this is not what happened.
Before I continue on to my final example, I feel I should state that, though the people mentioned above attend church regularly, the churches aren't Churches of Christ. That shouldn't matter, however. They claim to believe in the authority of the Word of God in the Bible, and that should be enough.
That being said, my final example is one of a preacher I know. He has said on more than one occasion that he knows that God hates divorce - it's in the Bible for all to see. Yet, he has also stated on more than one occasion that he believes that, while divorce is viewed as such by God, it's "sometimes necessary." He wasn't talking about cases of adultery or an unbelieving spouse sending away the believing spouse, either. He has counseled people in his congregation to divorce over matters such as "mental anguish" and other irreconcilable differences.
This is just a snapshot of cases in my microverse. I can only imagine other examples there are out there of such things.
In the end, I have but one question: when my children are grown, who (other than my wife and I) will be there to defend the sanctity of marriage to them? If they hear the clamor of people justifying divorce in such ways, will they even hear the gentle voice of the Lord telling them to stick with it...forever?
